6 years
Posted by Sarah on 19th October 2007 at 04:55am Since we found out that Christopher's tumour was back and he needed another operation. We'd been in the local hospital over the weekend and I had to listen to doctors telling me there was nothing wrong with him when I knew there was. I discharged him Saturday evening and late on the Sunday night my sister took us to Birmingam children's hospital and it was so different, the staff really took notice of what I was telling them. They said if I thought there was something wrong, then there probably was. He had a scan on the following Tuesday and was in theatre on the Wednesday (19th Oct).
It was a really difficult time. When he came from theatre he had an external drain (a tube coming out of his head) which was draining excess fluid into a bag by the bed.
He had that in for 3 weeks! It was awful. It got infected too and made him really ill. They were injecting antibiotics through the tube straight into his brain.
I finally went home for one night to spend time with Katherine and Matthew, Andy stayed with Christopher and when I got home Andy rang to say that Christopher was having to have a blood transfusion. I felt awful, so guilty that I'd left him.
We also were told the devastating news that they didn't think they'd got all the tumour out so they were going to have to operate again. My Mum said she saw the colour drain from my face when they told me.
I was so upset and cross - I couldn't believe that my baby was going to have to undergo more major brain surgery for the third time that year and only 3 weeks after just having had it done!
I had a bad night on Wedneday when I went to bed. My grief hit me like a ton of bricks. The pain was so intense, I couldn't even cry. I so badly wanted to hold my baby and talk to him and hear his voice and look into those gorgeous blue eyes.
Dates stick in my mind so vividly and each year when a certain date comes around it takes me right back again like it happened only yesterday.
Thanks for reading if you got this far. I just needed to write it down.
Sarah x
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